If you are over 42, chances are you are experiencing one or more of the following:
Memory disruptions, fogginess, sudden low mood or depression, increased irritability and anger, mood swings, a desire to curl up in your cave, a sense of chaos in your life, decreased sexual desire, a strong need for dramatic change, changes in menstruation, subtle bodily changes.
Most likely, if you go to a doctor and complain about these symptoms, you will be offered blood tests and everything will appear normal. Your hormonal profile will show everything is fine, and the gynecologist will tell you that you have plenty of eggs and are still fertile, and that this is not related to hormonal changes. Western medicine does not know how to diagnose this stage.
And you will feel that something is wrong with you. And you will get angry with yourself. Then feel even worse. Something inside you knows that something is not right, and you do not understand what. And it is so frightening.
I will tell you what is happening.
You are entering the perimenopause stage of your life.
Perimenopause, or "the stage before menopause," is a period that can last many years. It does not mean your menstruation is about to stop. Most likely, you will reach the cessation of menstruation, hot flashes, and the other menopausal symptoms years after entering this "before menopause" phase.
What is actually happening
You are entering a new and important stage of life.
Only no one tells you.
Out of lack of awareness of this stage and its meaning.
We all know that girls receive their first menstruation in their teenage years. That is obvious. But most of us do not know about the stage before menopause. No one speaks about the fact that this stage usually begins around ages 42-45 and lasts between 5-10 years.
So when we experience these frightening or frustrating phenomena, we become filled with fear and helplessness. And we weaken.
Almost all of us have gone through or will go through this stage.
And it is important that you know this.
Simply knowing that you are going through something natural, something that is part of your feminine evolution, already softens the sense of helplessness. It allows you to relax into the understanding that this is okay. That you are not alone. All women go through this (but rarely speak about it).
Breaking the silence around perimenopause
Let us begin speaking about this.
Let us bring it into the light.
Because in the dark, it only weakens us and prevents us from preparing for this important transition and moving wisely through this powerful movement of growth toward the next stage of life - the wise woman.
Let us celebrate this stage.
Together.
So that we may share with one another the wisdom of each woman and the way she experiences this process.
Let us celebrate, because we are entering a new and extraordinary phase of our feminine essence.
This is truly a birth.
And there are ways to ease, and there is much we can do to move through this stage in peace, with all the storms it may bring.
Finding support during this transition
There is much more to say about this threshold. But more than speaking, this phase asks for a different kind of space. A space where women can listen, reflect, ask, recognise themselves, and remember that this transition carries meaning, not only discomfort.
For that I created a workshop - The Cocoon Phase: A Perimenopause Workshop.